653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say, 'attaboy'.

...and thus he found his single source of joy in the society of other people: frightening the girls with his penis.

What do you want?""Spain""Fuck!

It’s a note. Let me read it for you. ‘Couldn’t anyone else see that they were all slaves of Satan? I had to cleanse the world of their evil. I am the hand of God. Why else would security have let me into the building with an assault rifle in my suitcase? I am a divine instrument.’” Tommy paused and looked up. “That’s all I have so far, but I’ll guess I end it with an apology to my mom. What do you think?

I gave you all!" screeched Lear, waving a palsied claw at Regan."And you took your bloody time giving it, too, you senile old fuck," said Regan.

An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.

The medium obscured the message.

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.