395 Quotes by Chuck Klosterman

I look at camping the same way I look at horror movies. All the years that humans fought to get into caves and into shelters – it almost seems sacrilegious to go outside and sleep without a roof. We work so hard to have these things!

Batman never questions the logic of letting a childhood experience dictate his entire life.

It was the kind of love you can only feel toward someone you don’t actually know.

Sometimes I think children are the worst people alive. And even if they’re not- even if some smiling toddler is as pure as Evian- it’s only a matter of time.

Just watch any husband arguing with his wife about something insignificant; listen to what they say and watch how their residual emotions manifest when the fight is over. It’s so formulaic and unsurprising that you wouldn’t dare re-create it in a movie. All the critics would mock it. They’d all say the screenwriter was a hack who didn’t even try. This is why movies have less value than we like to pretend – movies can’t show reality, because honest depictions of reality offend intelligent people.

We are always dying, all the time. That’s what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.

I was a teenager in the ’80s – and maybe I’m wrong about this – but it seemed like a bad era for movies that were scary. It was really the height of movies that were disgusting.

It also creates a problematic reflection: If a villain is the person who knows the most and cares the least, then a hero is the person who cares too much without knowing anything. It makes every hero seem like Forrest Gump. But it’s not the intelligence that people dislike; it’s the dispassionate application of that intelligence. It’s the calculation. It’s someone who views life as a game where the rules are poorly written and designed for abuse.

It’s possible this whole “Why do Latinos love Morrisey?” question will haunt us forever. Fortunately, Canadian academics are on the case.