230 Quotes by Clive James

Like a Volvo, Bjorn Borg is rugged, has good after-sales service, and is very dull.

One of the virtues of the NHS... it doesn't worry you about money at the moment when you're least capable of doing anything about it.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

My wife spoke perfect Italian and she was very beautiful and very suave Italian men were crowding around her, talking all the time and if I was to even understand what was going on, I had to learn the language fast.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

The repeat run of Fawlty Towers drew bigger audiences than ever and deservedly so. Statistical surveys reveal that only the television critic of The Spectator is incapable of seeing the joke, which is that Basil Fawlty has the wrong temperament to be a hotel proprietor, just as some other people have the wrong temperament to be television critics.

The entrée wasn't tender enough to be a paving stone and the gravy couldn't have been primordial soup because morphogenesis was already taking place.

Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world.

If we look at the investment in China in biotech crops, it is very significant.