107 Quotes by Colin Quinn

That’s the beauty of being a comedian – it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.

A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what’s being said is the party line.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe’s nightstand.

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they’re friends. We’re the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don’t own any.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I’m sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the ‘Let them eat cake’ line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

I write all the time – I write poetry, I love to write.

You can’t make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you’ll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.