752 Quotes by Conan O'Brien

Utah could elect its first black Republican woman to Congress. In other words, Utah finally got one black person and the first thing they want to do is send her to Washington.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don't worry, Vice President Biden is going to be OK.

Tom Brady says he wants to give the truck he was given as the Super Bowl MVP to the guy who won the Super Bowl for the Patriots. So Brady's giving his truck toSeahawks coach Pete Carroll.

I had an amazing experience in Cuba. People there are fantastic. But I do have to say it's very nice to be back home in front of all of you capitalist pigs.

The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.

NBC announced that during the summer Olympics they will set a new record by airing over 1200 hours of coverage. Which is amazing because that's 10 hours longer than the coverage of Reagan's funeral.

President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama now has as many followers as the Republicans have presidential candidates.

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.