143 Quotes by Craig Kilborn

Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, ‘I can hardly blame them. Look at me.’

Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can’t wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.

The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don’t we already have that? It’s called Fox News.

Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold’s movies.

The places I’ve worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.

There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, ‘I do.’

There has been no electricity in Baghdad for a week and the people are angry. You would be angry too if you couldn’t watch your brand new stolen TV.

I don’t want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn’t know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.