143 Quotes by Craig Kilborn

I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.

Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?'

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.

Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts.

President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'

President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.

Boeing is working on an invisible fighter jet so nobody can see who's flying it. Didn't George Bush fly this in the National Guard, I believe?