636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

Hey dawg, wassup?" he said, in the strange way that white talent agents from Los Angeles do in an attempt to sound like young black men from underprivileged backgrounds. A linguistic fashion as peculiar as the lisp that everybody in medieval Spain had to adopt after the king developed a speech impediment.

He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be all right. He marveled at the gullibility and vulnerability of his fellow humans. No wonder the churches called them sheep. They were woolly-headed pack animals being herded around for the benefit of whoever knew how to control the dogs.

I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.

My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them.

There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.

I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you.

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.