636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well you, apparantly, 'cause you're watching me.

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.

I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.

Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

That's one of the reasons why we think the U.S. dollar probably should strengthen going into the Fed meeting toward the end of the month.

Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.