636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney.

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest.

It's totally free. It is the complete freedom of performance, ... The first time (the monologue is) performed is when you see it on TV, and it'll never be seen again. It's pure TV. Bam! It's there, and then it's gone.

Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet...

I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court.

Pseudoscience describes theories that sound like science but are actually just made up, like aromatherapy or biorhythms or love.

I don't know why some people get worked up about gay people marrying. It's not gay people who are ruining the sanctity of marriage, it's celebrities.

You've got to realize these trends are there until they're not you've got to be careful about picking the top.