636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

The Universe is very, very big.It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules.Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever.Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women.

I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

When someone says that their love will never die, it means that they love is not real, for everything that is real dies.

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.