636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Another one of President Barack Obama's nominees is having tax issues, which proves one thing: The Democrats like raising the taxes, but they hate paying them.

Justin Bieber's tour bus was stopped by Canadian border patrol agents. And they found marijuana. The agents said Bieber was a disgrace to Canada and should never come back. Then they found the marijuana.

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.

Insiders say Obama's pretty comfortable around actors. He should be. He has been 'acting' like he was born in Hawaii for a long time.

I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.

A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.

Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.