636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Despite the lofty gains in the Australian dollar, commodity prices have meant it now looks undervalued. Any short-term dips in the Australian dollar now need to be bought.

A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should spend his time trying to improve stuff like education. New York needs a better education system if kids didn't figure out they could get around the 16-ounce soda ban by simply purchasing two 12-ounce sodas.

The Universe is very, very big.

Sober alkies are often asked: When did you hit rock bottom? but a more informed question might be: How many times did you hit rock bottom?

As a result of that we met a little bit of a wall.

The nation of Iran is threatening to sue the makers of the movie Argo. They say the movie was an unrealistic portrayal of their country. You can't do that! That would be like Scotland suing over the movie Shrek.

I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I had no respect for the teachers, their attitude didn't poison the writing that I was discovering for myself.

You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.