636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women.

Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.

Former president Bill Clinton was elected on this very day in 1992. Clinton went on to leave quite a mark in the oval office... You mean the one on the sofa?

Saudia Arabia takes in half a trillion dollars every year in oil revenue, and the country has a population smaller than New York state, but when your system of government is an eleventh century monarchy, someone's going to end up poor, and it's not gonna be the guy whose first name is King.

I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page.

Mark Zuckerberg was named Time's Person of the Year. I'm sorry if you don't recognize the name. A magazine is something people used to read.

Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.

A lot of people in their 30's get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and jaded and prematurely old. Then they turn their nostalgia into great television.

The 'Star Wars' movie is coming out. Disney has kept the details of the movie under wraps because they're not Sony.