636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Ocean’s 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn’t want to see that? Well you, apparantly, ’cause you’re watching me.

Is it really that important? It’s just television, for God’s sake. It’s not medicine or something.

When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we’d get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.

Oh Satan you’re a wily one.

It’s tricky turning a book into a movie. Sometimes people love the book so much that no adaptation lives up to what they imagined. You can avoid that disappointment by never, ever reading books.

Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can’t-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He’s leaving.

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word ‘existentialism.’

I am the Saudi Arabia of unhappiness. I have so many reserves of misery that you wouldn’t understand. I actually think that’s part of why I connect with Canadians. I think they understand grinding misery underneath.

People sometimes say to me: “Craig, get out of my garden.”