636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Wikipedia celebrates its 12th birthday today. Of course, I have no idea if it’s true. I read it on Wikipedia.

I don’t know much about the Supreme Court. If it’s anything like the Supreme Taco, it’s like a regular court, but with extra sour cream.

Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I’m kidding. No one watches CNN.

I aim to please. I’m nothing if not a vaudevillian.

It’s very interesting to know what people are doing while you’re working on late-night television.

I don’t know why some people get worked up about gay people marrying. It’s not gay people who are ruining the sanctity of marriage, it’s celebrities.

Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I’m glad the PC police haven’t made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.

I’m not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn’t matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.