636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those-maybe everyone-who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something-innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed

I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it

Its like a sort of internet Ren Fair. Its like Dungeons & Dragons but for cool people who have got friends.

There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.

It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save people from being idiots.