30 Quotes by Cuthbert Soup

"Musicians have always had a better understanding of love than the rest of us. Over the years they have told us that love: is like a rock, is here to stay, is all you need, will find a way, will keep us together, will tear us apart, sucks."

"Why is it that they can only come up with one model of spaceship? You would assume such intelligent creatures could, once in a while, put out something in a nice powder blue and shaped like a footstool or maybe like France."

"The internal combustion engine, one of the greatest technological advancements in history, has an unfortunate downside, namely air pollution so thick that, very soon, sixty-four packs of crayons will include the color Sky Brown"

"These reports that are not explained by natural phenomena or exploding outhouses are known as UFO's, which is the official abbreviation for Unidentified Flying Objects. I suppose it could also stand for Uncommonly Fat Orangutans, but in this case it does not."

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him participate in synchronized diving."

"He’s getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I’m wearing Spider-Man underpants!"

"I’m one-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian and one-half Korean.” “Excuse me, but that’s five halves,” said Maggie."

"Some quick advice for success in life: Don’t be afraid, be amazing."

"I’ll get it,” said Jough in his man-of-the-house voice, a full octave lower than his regular voice."

"On the forest floor was the LVR’s smoldering ceiling panel, just lying there like the lid of a sardine can that had been eagerly and violently thrown away by someone who very much liked sardines."