126 Quotes by Dan Castellaneta

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?

Excuse me Doctor, I think I now a little something about medicine

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.