126 Quotes by Dan Castellaneta

"Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."

"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

"Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"

"Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them..."

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen"

"Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?"

"Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail."

"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos"

"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"

"I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."