126 Quotes by Dan Castellaneta

"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

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"The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

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"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"

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"Well, I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!"

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"When I first did The Tracey Ullman Show, there were times when I could offer a solution on stage, and I could understand the writers."

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"Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."

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"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

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"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

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"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."

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"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."

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