350 Quotes by Dane Cook

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO.

When Napster first hit, I had a Web site at the time, so I said, 'I'm going to take 20 clips from my first CD and I'll put them under comedy and jokes, and see what happens,'

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.

Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.

I'm practically crying between takes every day, we're laughing so hard.

Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.