350 Quotes by Dane Cook

I have to say I'm a massive fan of yours

Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.

My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.'

I never wanted to be pigeonholed as one style of comedy. I want to be the kind of person you have a random back-and-forth with at a party. So that if you go to my show I could take irreverent, I could take subtle, I could take slapstick - pretty much anything I could think of that would be entertaining - and my audience would be with me.

It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.