350 Quotes by Dane Cook

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

I would love to have acidy spit.

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.

I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

How do you fall into a lion's den, that is my first question there, you think you would be extra carefull around a den of lions.

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.

When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!