"You’re not just short a few sandwiches,” he said, lip curling up in disgust. “Your picnic is missing the basket and blanket. There’s not even ants at your picnic."
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"Let me know when you’re done with this conversation. Peter needs his tongue bath. I mean sponge bath."
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"I’ve given up my living room, guest room, job, career, heterosexuality and my stance on no pets in the house, but I’m not giving up my room. I’m drawing a line."