821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.

I don't think film is the writer's medium, and so I was interested to see what a director would do with it.

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.

If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.

It's funny, particularly when you're a writer and you're doing well, you have that sense of like, "Oh! My view of the world is the one that's going to be published."

I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.

The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!

Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.

And a refrigerator may hold a basket of strawberries, which would be important if a maniac said to you, "If you don't give me a basket of strawberries right now, I'm going to poke you with this large stick." But when the two elder Baudelaires and Quigley Quagmire opened the refrigerator, they found nothing that would help someone who was wounded, dying of thirst, or being threatened by a strawberry-crazed, stick-carrying maniac.