821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.

Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.

Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.

There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.

lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca...

I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.

Let’s go, let’s go together toward something extraordinary and I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.

I wrote Rick before I was published, and I had no vision of it, really. It was just a story that occurred to me, and that put its little claws in my brain, and I wrote it, and I showed it to a couple people, and they all said, "This is ghastly."