821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.

Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.

Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.

The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights.

The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.

For Beatrice- When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.

I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.

Everybody has a theory.

Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.