821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to change your facial expression in order to create a workable disguise." The quoting of an aphorism, such as "It takes a village to raise a child," "No news is good news," and "Love conquers all," rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen, which is why we provide our volunteers with a disguise kit in addition to helpful phrases of advice.

When I wrote Rick, I had the idea that I would take the plot of nearly every opera and turn it into a dark film, which is something I still may do.

...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as the nonsense is yours.

A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.

I know what is going on," said Sir. "I am the Boss! Of course I know!

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.

Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!

I've never had a musical career. So I think it's been unaffected. I play the accordion. In terms of thinking of it as a musical career, I think it's sort of like calling yourself an astronaut because you have a shiny suit.

There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.