821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

I guess we’ll be traveling in uncharted waters.” “That’ll be fun,” Phil said.

All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.

It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.

Are you who I think you are?

You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window washers. But you can’t invent more time.

But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.

I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.

Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.