821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.

So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.

Olaf: Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else

I have produced things that I would say were sincerely cheerful. But then I am reminded by other people that no one else would see them that way.

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.

Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.

For Beatrice, our love broke my heart, and stopped yours.

For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.