821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does.

Love makes the world go round, the hit songs collectively tell us, and the world is full of people you don’t know and might as well be nice to because they won’t leave.

Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can’t be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.

You have to love the whole person, if you are truly in love. If you are going to take a lifelong journey with somebody, you can’t mind if the other person believes they are leaving for that journey an hour earlier than you, as long as truly, in the real world, you are both leaving at exactly the same time.

People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter – it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.

Desperation is like a spilled drink; even if it’s delicious, no one will get near it. Cultivate an aura of glamorous unapproachability.

I hadn’t even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart’s desire.

I think we’ll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the time. After all, they wouldn’t want us to be miserable.

And then like a song we’d forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.