821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

I can’t think of a story that doesn’t have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it’s dull. So when I embarked into the world of picture books, my first thought was to do something about the dark.

I love meeting people who have absolutely no sense of irony. It’s really fascinating to imagine what it would be like to go through life without understanding even the most basic of ironies.

You’d think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they’re right next door, and always having border disputes.

Instead of the word ‘love’ there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.

He told her then how sorry he was for last night, but not out loud.

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother’s wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.

For Beatrice – My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

I saw myself, clearly, a scorned woman drunk and angry at a party. Hell hath no fury etc.