821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

She didn’t look like a girl who would ruin the whole thing at all.

All over the world are particular people, and you could be happy with probably five or six of them, eight if you’re bisexual and everyone is.

I can’t imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.

That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day,...

I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

One of the world’s most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen’s younger, more attractive boyfriends.

You have to love the whole person, if you are truly in love.

This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one’s stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.

I’ve never had a musical career. So I think it’s been unaffected. I play the accordion. In terms of thinking of it as a musical career, I think it’s sort of like calling yourself an astronaut because you have a shiny suit.