821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

You don’t say,” Helena said. She took a cigarette out of her ripped purse and lit it because she smoked. She was a smoker.

Making you happy isn’t making me happy.

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one’s time before the candles are extinguished on one’s birthday cake.

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.

No soy una enamorada, soy una tonta.

I don’t have to answer to you,” Adam said, instantly and harshly. He brushed his pants off like he’d just buried his mother.

They say love’s like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.

We are all told to ignore bullies. It’s something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn’t mean you learn it. It doesn’t mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.

Blinded following the Blindfolded.