821 Quotes by Daniel Handler

All the deaths are dead for nothing but you're not dead at all.

No, when you love someone you spend hours and hours with them, and even the mightiest forces in the netherworld could not say whether the hours you spend increase your love or if you simply spend more hours with someone as your love increases.

He thought she knew what he meant, but the biggest mistake you can make is thinking they know what you mean.

You either have the feeling or you don’t.

Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection.

Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass.

And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.

But just suddenly I really, really needed to see you again right that minute, that night.

I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.