675 Quotes by Darynda Jones

Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

That boy needs a hobby.""Stalking is a hobby.""So is serial killing.

I know," he said in almost bored contemplation. "My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood.""I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.

Danger: Attitude subject to change without notice.

An hour later, Cookie, Lacey, and I sat in the graveyard, watching a slave demon who looked like a nineteen-year-old kid--a very well-built nineteen-year-old kid--dig up a grave shirtless, his wide shoulders shimmering in the moonlight."I'm going to hell," Cookie said, unable to rip her gaze off him."Well, if you go, there are probably others who look like that. It might not be such a bad place.""I want to have his demon babies," Lacey said

Cookie&Charley Coffee moments:“You did your dishes with shampoo?”“It was either that or my apricot body scrub.”“No, good call. A little shampoo won’t hurt you.

My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe SATAN had A.D.D. too. It would explain a lot.

Our relationship was a lot like underwear in a dryer without a static control sheet. One minute we were floating through life, buoyant and carefree. The next we were attached at the crotch

The rush of adrenaline helped. Not a lot. I still needed a caffeine fix, but at least I was awake enough to realize I quite possibly had my underwear on inside out. Something didn’t feel right down yonder.