675 Quotes by Darynda Jones

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.

Her dad shows up, and instead of getting mad at Denise, he wraps his arm around her and helps her to his car like she’s crippled. I could’ve crippled her. Missed my chance.

No offense, but what on earth could I ask of you that would be a great hardship?” His gaze rested on my mouth before making its way to my eyes again. “You could ask for the world, and then where would civilization be when I conquered it and laid it at your feet?

I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in.

Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my needs. – T-SHIRT.

I was my own girl, and no one was walking on this carpet but me.

We watch movies while Uncle Reyes makes cockporn.” Everyone in the immediate area stilled while Reyes and I pressed our mouths together, trying not to crack up. This was a serious situation, and cracking up now would just be wrong. “Popcorn, honey,” Amador said. Then he looked at Bianca. “Hon, she really needs to learn how to say that word.

Does workman’s comp cover paper cuts?” “Do chickens lay snowballs?

I thought about throwing my grocery bags at him and making a run for it, but those avocados were expensive. Damn my love of guacamole.