113 Quotes by David Rakoff

Almost any age is better than twenty-two.

if psychoanalysis was late-19th-century secular Judaism's way of constructing spiritual meaning in a post-religious world and retail is the late 20th century's way of constructing meaning in a postreligious world, what does it mean that I'm impersonating the father of psychoanalysis in a store window to commemorate a religious holiday?

A half roll of Life Savers fused to the pockets,And in yet another, a lone unwrapped mintHad bundled itself in a stole of gray lint.

Not being funny doesn’t make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does.

We are disclosing animals, wired for unburdening. It's what we do as a species. When I am being told, I listen, mindful of the honor, remembering all the while that the shore would be mistaken to believe that the waves lap up against him because he is so beautiful.

It seems frankly remarkable that anyone anywhere ever attempted anything.

one day Satan himself visits, along with his great-grandmother—who is, not surprisingly, a total fucking bitch.

The overriding sense of Tokyo...is that it is a city devoted to the new, sped up in a subtle but profound way: a postmodern science-fiction story set ten minutes in the future.

Here’s the second joke: Two psychiatrists meet on the street and say hello. “How are you?” asks one. “Eh, not so good,” says the other. “I had a stupid misunderstanding, a slip of the tongue. I was visiting my mother out at the old folks’ home. We were having lunch and I asked her to pass me the salt, but instead I said, ‘You fucking bitch you ruined my life.