41 Quotes by David Rees

Yeah, it's real easy to look in the mirror and be proud when you're wearing pleated shorts. And you know what's really pathetic? I don't even have any dividends to get tax-decreased. When'll they cut taxes on not-having-health-insurancends?

And you know what happened next in my dream? Dick Cheney and I said the same thing at the same time: "Well, we had a Cold War to win." And then I screamed at him: "I KNEW you would say that! You ALWAYS say that!" But then, since Cheney and I made the same remark at the same time, I realized he owed me a Coke. So I said, "Jinx! You owe me a Coke!" And Vice-President Dick Cheney smiled sheepishly. *Shudder*... I don't even DRINK coke. I tastes like robot sweat.

I never thought I would make a living as a pencil-sharpener. The first goal was: I don’t want to lose money. And then the goal was: I want to see if 100 people buy my pencils. I just kept upping the benchmarks.

I’ve never been good at self-promotion. And my URL is really obscure. And for years and years, there was nothing about me on my website.

Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

I like feeling like I’m discovering something new. That’s really a special feeling and also, you don’t have it that often. At least, I don’t. Maybe I’m not creative enough.

I don’t even drink Coke. It tastes like robot sweat.

The things I’m grateful for are: I had the one thing that I feel really lucky about, which is that I made something, I made art, that truly – in a weird way – truly comforted me and comforted a lot of people. And I’m really grateful that I got to have that experience.

I got to draw shapes. I really like to draw funky, geometric shapes. And I got to use just different fonts and make a joke of how feminine it was, but it didn’t even have people in it. To me, it was so exciting and interesting to do that for a while.