694 Quotes by David Sedaris

The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if the script is the same, just the way that I read it is different.

I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

I'm not afraid to write about madness. I always figure that whatever most embarrasses you is something that everyone can relate to, really...because we're just not that different. So if you think, 'Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I can't possibly talk about that,' and you write about it, the audience is gonna be like, 'that happened to me!

You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.

Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.

Usually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever.

In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use that right.

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

I see you that have a little swimming mouse