694 Quotes by David Sedaris

There is still the outside world to contend with. A world of backfiring cars, and their human equivalents.

You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to me like you make the time. And if you have a wife or a job, if you have kids or whatever, you find a way. If you really want to do it, you make the time.

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.

Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.

This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you," he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that this time he was right. Worse than the boil was the stuff that came out of it. What got to me, and got to him even worse, was the stench, which was unbearable, and unlike anything I had come across before. It was, I thought, what evil must smell like—not an evil person but the wicked ideas that have made him that way. How could a person continue to live with something so rotten inside? And so much of it!

The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.

I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.