130 Quotes by David Sheff

Since reason and love, the forces I had come to rely on in my life, have betrayed me, I am in unknown territory.

I see Nic on the plane. I see him as he is - frail, opaque, ill - my beloved son, my beautiful boy. "Everything," I say to him. "Everything."Fortunately there is a beautiful boy.Unfortunately he has a terrible disease. Fortunately there is love and joy.Unfortunately there is pain and misery.Fortunately the story is not over.

Substance abusers lie about everything, and usually do an awesome job of it." Stephen King once wrote. "It's the liar's disease." Nic once told me, quoting an AA platitude, "An alcoholic will steal your wallet and lie about it. A drug addict will steal your wallet and then help you look for it." Part of me is convinced that he actually believes that he will find it for you.

Why do I want to meet him? No matter how unrealistic, I retain a sliver of hope that I can get through to him. That's not quite accurate. I know I can't, but at least I can put my fingertips on his cheek.

My drawing - now there are drops, tears, from the two branches of the tributary and six circles above it. Then I know - I have drawn the opening up of my brain and all that is in there - tears pain blood rage terror. The broken suitcase with the circles, its contents - me, former me - spilling out.

One girl, Nic's friend, says how different the images are in our family's pictures and how intense each one is, but she says that Nic's heart leads into ventricles and my stream of chalk looks like a broken artery.Somehow I am crying. Nic's hand is on my shoulder.

As much as a child's birthday is important to a parent, as much as twenty one meant to me, a year in recovery means more.

We are still nearer the winter edge of spring on this cool and misty May afternoon, the scent of wood smoke in the air — a remnant of the afternoon fire.

I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it.