22 Quotes by David Thorne

I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.

You can’t trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to e-mail you the remaining eighty-six photos of my dog dressed as a bear?

I’m not a huge fan of poetry. I’ll accept the argument that it’s an art form – being an expression of the imagination – but by that broad definition, so are Etch-A-Sketch drawings and Magic Aqua Sand sculptures. I don’t think anyone really likes poetry, apart from the ones writing it, and they only really like their own.

If you had managed to persuade my mother not to procreate, I would not exist to send you the plans for constructing your own time machine in which to travel back in time to persuade my mother not to procreate. Apparently, this is known as a pair of ducks.

Should check the Internet and make sure everything on there is correct.

Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense.

It is not necessary to attempt a resolution when it is self-resolving.

If people were meant to talk about feelings, they’d be called talkings.