227 Quotes by David Wong

I said to John, “You know that if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet farther than your shoes?” John said, “I dunno, Dave, but before we make a bomb I have to shave half the dog.” I nodded. He got up, called to Molly and herded her into my bathroom. I wondered when the soy sauce would take effect.

John looked at him and yelled, “What are you waiting for? Shoot him in the mouth!” The word “mouth” could not be heard over the gunshots.

In the real world, bullets that miss their targets keep traveling until they hit something. They fly through windows, and into the bodies of bystanders. And even successfully killing a bad guy creates blowback, sets off a whole chain of consequences that are impossible to predict. Guns always represent a failure of negotiation.

No matter where you go, management is always a bunch of cheap bastards.

At your age, life is full of possibilities. But as the years pass, those possibilities vanish, one by one, like doors closing in a hallway. You feel time slip by, and your energy slip away. One day, you realize you’re too old to be a famous musician, or change careers, or have more children. And each of those closed doors represents a regret. As you get older, well, those regrets come to define you.

You are now aware that your lower jaw has weight, and that it requires effort for you to hold it up. Good evening.

Good-bye, Molly,” I muttered. “Of all the dogs I’ve known in my life, I’ve never seen a better driver.

We don’t feel like that’s a good faith offer, because it seems more like you’re just trying to save money on cockroaches.

Cynicism does not cause inaction...