227 Quotes by David Wong

I glanced at Badly Drawn Jesus, then pulled the gun from my pocket. On Judgment Day, I’d be able to proudly state that when I thought the hordes of Hell were coming for a local girl, I stood ready to shoot at them with a small-caliber pistol.

My hair looked like I had combed it with an angry cat.

You know what the scariest part is about people like him? Everything he’s doing makes perfect sense in his own mind.

SOCIETY IS DOOMED for one very simple reason: it takes dozens of men working months with millions of dollars in materials to build a building, but only one dumb-ass with a bomb to bring it down.

John jolted awake to find himself staring down a shotgun wielded by his greatest enemy: himself.

Do you know why soldiers march in unison? Or why they are compelled to chant in groups? It’s a form of hypnosis, it overrides the brain’s critical thinking centers. It’s the same reason we make schoolchildren shout the Pledge of Allegiance every morning.

If you’ve actually seen a ghost – and I assure you that you probably have, within the last month – it would have just looked like any real, solid person. It’s likely nobody saw that person but you and no, you can’t photograph them. You’re not seeing them with your eyes.

There,” said the large man. “The kittens will make your sad go away.

Your ‘let’s remain calm and stay put’ speech would be a lot more convincing if you weren’t giving it in front of a pile of burning skeletons.