102 Quotes by Dawn French

I am not, I repeat, NOT a lesbian – even though I’d like to be one when I grow up.

I have had the unfortunate experience of having someone write an unauthorised biography of me. Half of it is lies and the other half is badly written. My feeling is that if I’m going to write my life story, I ought to have my life first.

That’s the awful thing about dating. Tight underwear. We would all like to be in a big bra and pants and when you are in a secure relationship you can do that.

Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman.

I love it when somebody makes me laugh – it’s what attracts me to people.

My approach to parenting is that everything is open – everything. I’m not very good at covert, or subtle, and I’ve had to learn timing. I do blunder in a bit.

I’ve often said the most difficult things I have to say to people through humour. I can very quickly put someone in their place with it. But we all walk away unscathed because there’s been some funnies around it, and I’ll usually make sure that it comes back at me.

Why would anyone want to be called a size zero or even aspire to being a zero? I don’t even understand the thinking behind it, let alone the practicalities. What is all that about?

I know what it’s like to struggle for cash. When I went to drama school, I worked as a chambermaid to make ends meet.