28 Quotes by Deacon Jones

If you feel like you want to die, it’s time to sit down and make a list of all the things you haven’t done yet.

All men are created equal. After that, it’s up to you.

When I see guys huddling up after the game, to pray, that’s what scares me about the game. I’m a Baptist, but I’m also a quarterback killer, and I ain’t praying with you. But I will give you 30 seconds to ask your Lord and master to keep me from killing you.

You hear all this stuff about inner peace. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with it, but I say, hit that line hard. Crack that book – Do your very best all the time and inner peace will take care of itself. The Deacon guarantees it.

You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You’re sacking them. You’re bagging them. And that’s what you’re doing with a quarterback.

Somebody told me when Abe Lincoln was a young man, studying by firelight, he said, “I will work hard. I will prepare myself. And my time will come.” And you know, that’s exactly what I said about myself and football – What do you think? Were Abe and I both just lucky ducks?

I never was very big on praying for victory. For God to give a big win to the Denver Broncos, wouldn’t He have to take it away from somebody else, say, the Green Bay Packers?

How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.

I developed a term that is used in the game right now called sacking a quarterback. Sacking a quarterback is just like you devastate a city or you cream a multitude of people. I mean it’s just like you put all the offensive players in one bag and I just take a baseball bat and beat on the bag.