191 Quotes by Deborah Tannen

Like most men, my father is interested in action. And this is why he disappoints my mother when she tells him she doesn't feel well and he offers to take her to the doctor. He is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.

If women are often frustrated because men do not respond to their troubles by offering matching troubles, men are often frustrated because women do.

Male-female conversation is cross-cultural communication

Part of the reason images of women in positions of authority are marked by their gender is that the very notion of authority is associated with maleness.

I think it's that the same dynamics that go on between any close relationship go on here. It's just particularly intense between mothers and daughters.

Part of the reason (motherly advice) bugs us as daughters is because our mothers are so powerful in our lives. They loom like giants. The reason mothers keep at it is because they're so powerless. They cannot get you to do what is so obvious to them you should do.

The reaction to the book has been so overwhelming; it has totally blown me away. It's clear there's been a need out there.

When you feel that the people you are dealing with day to day don't have manners, it gives you the feeling that the world is somehow coming apart. It makes you feel that everything is out of control.

The repercussions are so deep because our responses are emotional. When you think you're being snubbed, what does that mean? It means your 'humanness' is not being acknowledged. When you feel you're being imposed on, your reaction of 'Give me some space' is so automatic.