397 Quotes by Denis Leary

If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it’s the NHL’s fault.

People are disappointed that you aren’t exactly who they thought you were, as opposed to somebody who’s just walking around trying to get some laundry done.

I’m born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while.

I’m a huge Kevin Youkilis fan.

I just think it’s difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can’t blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.

If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you’re out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.

I’ve always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots – I’m pretty good with either one.

Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That’s the important thing.

I’m not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely – it’s like being a carpenter. You learn how to make tables and chairs. You have to have the right tools, and you have to know how to put the thing together, right?